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The Roots
of Substance Abuse
by Michael Astor, M.A. Glen Cove![Michael Astor, M.A.](../../photos/C85/Astor.jpg)
Many of
us are deeply concerned about the extent of substance abuse affecting
our children. We may be fearful for their health, well being and futures.
As a society, we have tried many approaches, from the "Just Say No"
campaign to education, to discipline, to psychological help, yet the problem
continues to escalate. Some of us may have become spies in our childrens
lives, in many cases creating greater distance and alienation.
Why is this problem continuing to grow? What are our children trying to
tell us? What is missing in their lives, and perhaps in ours, that substance
abuse provides?
It is my experience that human nature is basically good, kind and loving
when given a fair chance. Our basic impulses are the essence of our souls,
trying to make the best of being in this world. Many times our impulses
get distorted and twisted as they try to manifest into our lives, often
as a result of early wounding and traumatic experiences. Just as a plant
would grow straight and true if given a nurturing environment, so too
would we humans.
We have all seen plants and trees that are twisted and bent because they
were bruised, cut or wounded, yet they still reach for the light. We need
to look beneath the substance abuse to the life current that feeds it.
Our children are trying to feel good through their use of substances.
While some experimentation may be natural and acceptable (if we are honest,
well admit to our own experiences,) what concerns us is the self-destructive
abuse of alcohol or drugs.
It may be that in order to feel good, our children by nature sensitive
beings are finding it necessary to use substances to put aside some
of their discordant feelings. I suggest that part of the problem is the
denial of our own feelings that we have chosen to suppress, believing
that we must do so to survive. Avoidance of our own feelings may be reflected
in both our childrens drug abuse and in our strident responses to
them. Maybe our children are responding to the inherent hypocrisy that
they confront on a daily basis.
Our responses to our childrens concerns about the world range from
"Dont worry about it," "Get over it," "I
have to make a living," to pretending the problems dont exist.
We drive around in our tank-like vehicles, ignoring the health of the
planet, and yet speak to our children about protecting the environment.
As a culture, we tease our children with semi-nude seductive advertisements
and then fault them for looking for superficial or sexual fulfillment.
We extol morality and ethics, but the news is full of glorifying images
of those who make fortunes on the backs of others through fraud and deception.
The ethics and morality of our respected religious leaders are in question.
We ignore the pain and starvation rampant in the world and even in our
own culture while we drown in our material glut. Not to speak of the fear
and anxiety left by 9/11.
What are they to think? We teach them to ignore their hearts and follow
in our footsteps. With all of that on their shoulders, they are maintaining
a pre-carious balance. When we add on to that some of the traditional
risk factors, such as divorce, death, illness or family disharmony, we
push many children over the edge.
By attacking the substance abuse without addressing these issues, we attack
our childrens essential drive to feel good. We are telling them
that their basic impulses are wrong, unrealistic and immature, creating
within them a conflict that generates anger and pain. We are setting the
stage for low self-esteem and a basic sense of feeling wrong about themselves.
If we are at least honest and admit to our children and ourselves the
ambivalence and self-questioning we feel about our way of life, we give
them validation of the pain that they see around them, instead of telling
them they are wrong for being compassionate. We must recognize that there
is a growing need that is not being met in our schools, our religious
institutions and our homes. We can respond with love and compassion to
our children, who are clearly in pain, instead of seeing them as disobedient,
lazy and bad.
Instead of repressing or punishing the need to feel better, a method that
always backfires, we can find a way to transform the need into a healthy
source of growth. There is a drastic difference between repressing a need
and transforming it. Repression leads to rigidity and intolerance while
transformation leads to more acceptance and love. We need to adjust our
schools to accommodate what is manifesting as a universal need, rather
than keep trying unsuccessfully to suppress our children to make them
accommodate to an inflexible system. We need to look deeply and honestly
within ourselves and share our fears and vulnerability with our children.
Michael Astor, MA has practiced as a MFCC for 15 years. He is currently
enrolled in an MSW program at Adelphi University and is a counselor at
Port Counseling Center, a substance abuse agency in Port Washington working
with adolescents and adults. He can be reached at (516) 676-1587.
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