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Expanding the circle
by Erica Settino • Huntington, NY

 

It’s my son’s first Christmas. A fact that amplifies my own sense of joy and merriment to a level I could never have imagined. It is as though I myself am a child again, and I can see so clearly, through Sebastian’s innocent eyes, the magic that is all around us.

My husband and I have been reveling in sharing our love of autumn and the whole of the holiday season with our boy. From pumpkin picking, to a Thanksgiving filled with more gratitude than I thought possible for one heart to hold, through the anxious anticipation of Santa’s arrival and finally, the dawning of the new year and with it the promise of all that is to come.

As a mother, there is nothing quite as ecstatic—or frightening—as watching our child(ren) begin to navigate the world. It’s exciting to see Sebastian beginning to enjoy the things we very consciously choose to expose him to. Already I can see how one of the greatest joys, and at the same time, challenges of parenthood is recognizing our children as individuals, while working fervently to teach him/her through our own positive examples.

My son’s curiosity grows as quickly as his little body. Never before have I had to be so acutely aware of my own words and actions so that I might impress upon him certain behaviors, values and morals that I hope he will embrace as his own.

For example, I have never been more fully aware of the mixed messages our society and culture sends to our precious little ones surrounding non-human animals. Almost all of my son’s adorable wardrobe, blankets and toys are decorated with animals of all kinds. Every single one is a non-human animal whom we have named and he has come to know and love. Each of his storybooks and earliest television shows feature animals as the main characters. In fact, most children will learn to speak by mimnicking animal sounds. Most parents nurture their child’s adoration of these beings for a time.

Then sadly, the majority end up perpetuating the cycle of disconnection and speciesism by one day feeding their children the flesh and byproducts of the very animals they were encouraged to so fervently love – many doing their best to hide the fact that the meal on their plate is the “live” version of his beloved animal toy. Naturally, most children would be horrified by the notion of eating their friends. They don’t see non-human animals as different from themselves. Most likely neither did their parents when they were children.

Unless we were lucky enough to be raised vegan, we were all indoctrinated into a system of disconnection, violence and hypocrisy. Just because that has been the majority does not mean it is right or just. The only way to demolish an archaic and broken system is to teach our children from the beginning, what so many of us have been fortunate enough to learn.

Parenthood is the most immeasurably rewarding yet undeniably challenging job in the world. It is a balancing act so precarious that even the most wellmeaning, seemingly well-prepared, will stagger along the way. However, if we have worked to establish a moral baseline for our children, one that perpetuates justice for all living beings and refuses to exploit, commodify and harm others out of desire, convenience or even habit, we can help them grow to navigate the world and all of its many challenging situations with kindness and fairness, rather than greed and manipulation.

With a new baby at home, one quickly learns that the roles of mother and father are far more encompassing than first imagined. We are our children’s first teachers, mentors and friends. Everything we say and do will impact who our little ones will become. What an awesome responsibility!

It’s also an honor and a privilege. It’s why I, as a mother, choose to continue to facilitate my own personal growth and evolution; so that I can offer my best self to Sebastian; so that when he is old enough to make his own decisions he will remember that his parents considered the world at large when making choices. And we taught him to do the same not just during the holidays, and not just for some. But every single day and for every single one.

Erica Settino
Erica Settino is the Editor at- large of Creations Magazine, published writer and long-time yoga teacher and activist. More information about Erica and her work can be found at Karuna For Animals: Compassion In Action, Inc.,and www.yogaturtle.net.