Over time, we lock ourselves up. The little boy or little girl that runs free with imagination, awe and joy slowly and imperceptively is tamed, regulated, chained and eventually imprisoned.

“Be quiet.” “Children are to be seen but not heard.” “That is not how the world works.” “Don’t be so Pollyannaish.” “Get your head out of the clouds (or stars).” “Major in something in college that will earn a good living.”

For many of us, those messages were louder and stronger than the messages encouraging us to think big, dream, and reach for our potential. So one day, we wake up and look at our lives and say, “Is this all there is?” “Is this what life is about?” Like opening a mystery present as a child on Christmas morning and discovering a pair of socks! It is not that socks are not useful or even needed on occasion, but the gift certainly falls short of the mystery of the occasion: where is the present that will help you capture a frog from the creek and make your best attempt to create an environment in your room that the frog can live in? And where is the present that will allow you to see with your own eyes a planet in our solar system? Or the puppy, or kitten, or bunny? These presents build relationships with life, with the magnificent created world around us. They teach us that love includes taking on responsibility to attend to another’s needs—not just getting, but giving in return.

I am not sure about you, but for me, if life is only about earning an income, paying the bills, or accumulating possessions or achievements that may perhaps garner the approval of our fellow man, then that is not enough. As The Little Prince was told by the fox in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s beautiful book of that same name, It is only with the heart that one sees rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.

Our current culture encourages us to live the appearance of life, not the essence. Skim the surface: don’t go deep. It is safer that way. If you go deep, you might feel pain. You might experience some suffering. The Truth of the matter is being alive means experiencing pain. Part of living is suffering. Human love exposes us to human loss. Nothing is permanent, all life passes on.

Our mind’s purpose is to get our needs met. Our mind wants assurances, insurance, certainty. Our mind differentiates, dissects, divides, creating a plan for a path toward what we have decided is good, pleasurable, safe. Our mind tells us what is different about ourselves and another person.

Our heart’s purpose is to connect us to the mystery and flow of the creative force of the universe. Our heart collaborates, cherishes, connects, opening a way to the felt sense of being fully alive in the matrix of creation. Our heart tells us what is the same about ourselves and another person.

While our minds are certainly useful and often can lead us away from what we don’t want and toward what we do want, our minds cannot bring us to the altar of awe: the place where we experience the essence of being alive in an alive universe. Only accessing and opening our heart can bring us to that place.

So how do we get from here (mind) to there (heart)? Well, it is simple, but not always easy. It is simple because as we sit in the prison of our mind, if we look down at our hands, we will see that we ourselves each hold the key to the lock on the door to our own prison. We are holding ourselves in the prison of our mind. Simple. What is often not easy is actually seeing the key we hold in our hands. Most of us have been trained from an early age to gradually allow the key to become invisible to us. We take on the beliefs of those around us, finding false truth in the limitations we were invited to adopt. Slowly, over time, we construct our constraints by our choices. Choosing the “safe” path over the more difficult or “risky” path, storing up for the future rather than living in the present moment. Putting off our happiness, postponing our joy, externalizing our power, we come to the place where we are sitting in the prison of our own minds unaware we are holding the key to freedom.

The beauty of the situation is that as long as we have breath, we have access to our heart. It is never too late. Start setting aside time to meander, creating unstructured time to be surprised by joy and the abundant messages all around you that the Creative Force of the Universe imbeds in existence. Open your heart to someone by loving them without conditions imposed by your mind. Rediscover and cultivate what is unique about your existence in the world, allowing what is in your heart to define you. Live YOUR life, not the life others have led you into with your consent. The life others want you to live is the prison in your head. The life you were gifted by your Creator is the freedom of your heart.

Tom Capshew is the author of Divine Warrior Training: Manifesting the Divine in Our World. He is working on his second book, Consciousness Rising. He works with individuals, couples and families in a private psychotherapy practice. His private spirituality practice is available in-person and online. Please visit www.innerspark.org for more information.