Thanksgiving holiday is upon us, a day for offering thanks. We join together with friends and family to celebrate and acknowledge the goodness we've received. So many of us say thank you routinely and off the top of our head. It's normal to say thank you, courteous. But how deep does this go?

When one truly recognizes the enormity of the gifts they've received and gives thanks their entire life can turn around.

What does it really mean to thank another? Are words enough? What is necessary to be open to receiving the blessings that arrive every day?

Most of us habitually dwell upon what is wrong, what has to be fixed, or is irritating. We spend the bulk of our time complaining or fighting the tasks we are given. The call upon us of someone in distress is often experienced as a burden, rather than a wonderful opportunity to open our hands and say thank you to life. To make an offering.

Instead, when we often give we demand that our gift be returned. We dwell upon what we're not getting back. This is not giving, it is barter, or manipulation of another. These kinds of so-called gifts soon become toxic. And then we wonder why we're unhappy or not appreciated?

We deeply fail to notice that giving in an unconditional manner, wanting nothing back in return, is not only true giving, it is the gift itself. This gift is given to all of life, including ourselves. The more ready we are to give to life, the more able we are to receive. No one can keep taking in without giving back. If we just breathe in and don't breathe out, we quickly die. Many refuse to see how much they are receiving because they do not wish to offer gifts back to the world. In this way they separate themselves from the endless flow of life itself.

True thankfulness is a way of life. It is a life that turns into an offering, not looking for something in return. This kind of life finds joy in just being, simply offering what and who it is. This is a life of fullness and thanksgiving.

Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D.psychologist, long term Zen practitioner, author and workshop leader, has offered over five hundred talks and workshops on all aspects of the simple laws of love. She presently offers Zen talks and a workshop entitled: Freeing Ourselves and One Another. This workshop introduces the practice of releasing, based upon Zen practice and principles and the Sedona Releasing method. Brenda is also an original student of Lester Levenson, founder of the Sedona Method. She can be reached at topspeaker@yahoo.com. www.brendashoshanna.com