Changes in our lives appear at any moment and without warning. Some knock politely at our front door.  Others barge in, completely unwelcome. Earlier this year I first noticed that something new had entered my life when I felt a mass on my breast. After a few exams I received news that many others have received in their own lives – my new visitor was cancer.

Among my first thoughts?  “Okay, Debbie.  It’s show time.” I had spent years believing that life circumstances are neither good nor bad – they just are, and that “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Now that I had cancer, did I still believe this was true? Would my belief in the power of perception hold up?  

The short answer is yes. Seeing my cancer as neither good nor bad but as neutral played an important role in my health and healing.  Since I viewed the cancer as neutral (i.e. non-threatening), I did not hate it, resist it, or fight it; rather, I accepted its presence in my life and, for the most part, was able to maintain inner peace. In his book Teach Only Love, Gerald G. Jampolsky defined health as inner peace, so reading this inspired me to see myself as healthy in spite of my diagnosis. When people asked me how I felt, I was able to answer honestly and sincerely that I felt healthy and well, and just saying these words elicited genuine feelings of health and wellness in me.

Seeing my cancer as neutral (i.e. not scary) also gave me permission to let go of fear, which is how Jampolsky defined healing. What follows are some of the healing practice I used daily when fearful thoughts took me away from my inner peace. I hope that some of these may too help you regain peace when change or fearful thoughts enter your life.

Let Go of Fear and Maintain Peace  
When my ego brought me invitations to engage in any form of fear, like resentment, fault-finding, mistrust or impatience, I declined them all, knowing that they would take me away from peace and healing. 
 
Let Go of Outcomes and Take Action
I also released fear and stayed on the path of healing by not playing along with my ego’s desire to control the future or think about how this could all turn out. Instead, I let go of outcomes, stayed present in each day, and took each next right action according to the intuitive thoughts that were easier to note when my mind was in a more peaceful and clear state.  

Let Go of Separation and Help Others
Likewise, I kept myself fearless and well by thwarting my ego’s attempts to separate me from the strength and gifts I receive when connecting with others and a power greater than myself. I did this by deliberately choosing to help others instead of only helping myself.

Let Go of Stories and Embrace Truth       
My ego also advised me to identify with my body rather than my spirit and use my cancer as an excuse to garner pity and avoid responsibility, but I did not, remembering a truth illustrated in Marianne Williamson’s book A Return to Love when she had a serious sore throat. She wrote, “Choosing to believe I was vulnerable, even for an instant, made me so. Thus my sore throat.”  So I let go of each ego-constructed story in which I was the vulnerable protagonist and instead embraced the truth that “We heal the body by remembering this it is not who we really are.”

Let Go of Blame and Forgive Imperfection
During moments when I forgot my true self and became fearful, both perceiving threats and attacking others, I cut off the supply of oxygen to the fears born in the aftermath of those attacks, which included perfectionism, self-flagellation, and guilt. Instead, I forgave myself, admitted my wrongs, and made amends.

Ironically, during this period and even today, it’s often small changes, like someone making a benign comment or innocently pushing me, that can make me feel attacked, wake up my threat response, and take me away from my inner peace. But remembering that everything, big and small, is neutral and therefore non-threatening, frees me to release fear from my life and allow love into my life.  This, for me, is how healing happens.

Deborah B. Shapiro, M.Ed., taught high school English for 20 years and holds a Certificate in Positive Psychology from the Wholebeing Institute.  She is also a student of many spiritual teachers and practices. You can find her at www.deborahbshapiro.com.