We are wise when we educate each other on our similarities as much as our differences.

As the news cycles fill with more and more reports on the widening schisms that dominate the headlines across the nation, Dr. John Demartini, renowned author, human behaviorist and inspirational speaker, is urging cooler heads, encouraging people to avoid knee-jerk reactions, and instead respond with both their heads and their hearts:

We have a reasoning part of our forebrain and we have an emotional part of our mid and hindbrains. If we exaggerate our emotional, we can get out of hand. If we stop, take a moment to see both sides of things and bring our minds back into balance and governance, we can start to act with more reason and meaning.

Many people are erroneously getting caught up in aspects of an inflammatory situation that deflects from the real issues. I realize there is discussion of racial issues here, but in anthropology the idea of race has faded away. What we now have is homo sapiens. If we are capable of procreating then we’re the same species. We need to move forward and help people realize we’re all human beings on a mission to contribute. Even if you are convinced you are on the “right” side of an argument, it is still wise to be open to discussion, debate and disagreement without defense, coercion, or retaliation.

We would be wise to more fully and periodically educate the police and the people that are carrying guns today on what might initiate such emotional reactions and thoroughly train them on how to more reasonably and rationally deal with these potentially reactive moments. We would also be wise to educate people on their similarities as much as their differences that they think they have with each other. If we don’t have foresight, preplanning and repetitive training, we’ll have hindsight and reactions with impulses and instincts instead of working with reason.

It can be challenging to change a mind-set – either your own or someone else’s – particularly in the middle of the clash, but, this is where coming to understand other people’s values or priorities and respecting and communicating in these values plays a crucial role. Any time we have emotional reactions and see only the downsides and not find the hidden meaning and benefits behind an event, we’ll cyclically perpetuate that irrational reaction on to the next generation. We’ll keep unwisely repeating anything that we haven’t found higher value, meaning, or purpose in.

That sense of higher value, or meaning is vital to healing wounds and turning the current and apparent tide of self-or other-destruction. The key is to make sure we find meaning and not make the deaths meaningless and to see how we can more effectively communicate our actions and differences of opinion. This is why education and repetitive training is essential to reduce any misperceived inequalities or intentions. It takes somebody truly caring to make and take an incredibly bold step to come out of their comfort zone of impulsive reaction.

Although we may have differences in colors and viewpoints, the truth is, we are capable of wisely interacting, and we can appreciate and love each other, by asking wise questions and balancing out our perceptions.

Dr. John Demartini is a noted educator, business consultant, author and globally renowned inspirational speaker, and was featured in the book and movie The Secret. He is the author of 40 books published in over 29 different languages. www.drdemartini.com.