The art of love... is largely the art of persistence.

~Albert Ellis

With Valentine’s Day upon us, thoughts of love are in the air. Let’s take a moment and ask, “What is love besides hearts, flowers, and chocolates?”

Love is the foundation of our being. I am not talking about romantic “hearts and flowers” love, or familial love, but a deeper much broader love. This “Love” informs every type of love we can think of, sustaining and transforming it, lining the path to our spiritual transformation.

When do we first meet love? The moment we look into our mother’s eyes. This is the moment we begin our journey. In the reflective pools of that first encounter, we begin to meet ourselves in translation. We learn to love ourselves in accordance with an interpretation of ourselves through another. It is the beginning of the exhaustive search for true love, the love we imagine we will find in another’s eyes. In that moment, the journey to our Self begins.

Over a lifetime, we experience love in many more forms. We love our families and develop an identity based on what we are exposed to – traditions, religion, role-models, and our environment. As we extend out into the world, we experience love for friends, eventually  experiencing romantic love. All of these facets of love are incomplete. They are informed by what we have been told, taught, or experienced through our early encounters. We are still defining love by how well we satisfy our expectations through another. Sometimes, we suspend any expectations as we try to fulfill someone else’s expectations. The search may lead us through multiple relationships, marriages, outgrown friendships, and loneliness. It is a long road. And, for some of us, it is even longer as we are fixed in a material world of driving emotion. It becomes a painful experience, as what was once hopeful and promising, becomes a perceived dead-end. 

As sad as these realizations are, they are actually harbingers of our potential. In each seemingly failed experience, is a seed of possibility. Those seeds contain the lessons that propel us to the truth.  Eventually, the very process of searching for love, leads us back home to finding our Self.  At the center of our being lies true Love; the foundation of everything that exists as nothing. As our hearts mature and we realize that 1) Love is not measurable by the desires and dislikes that form our image of love, and 2) it cannot live in the same space as fear and anxiety, we begin to allow true Love into our lives. We begin to suspend the illusion of reality that we have tenaciously held onto that is rooted in our history. Once we are able to remove the filter through which we have judged all of our experiences, we make room for Love. We stop “shoulding” on ourselves and others. We stop trying to control and define everyone and everything with labels based in pre-conceived historically limiting notions. We observe. We listen. We reconcile. We forgive. We leave our baggage at cliff’s edge and choose a different road home. 

Namaste is a beautiful Sanskrit word that is used as a greeting in India. The breakdown Namah + te literally means “I bow to you.” But this word has a deep spiritual significance that holds Love as its seed. In its deeper meaning, it reveals that the life force, divinity, or the light in me recognizes the light in you. That simple word honors the undifferentiated force of divine light that resides within us, the “oneness” of spirit. Each of us is part of a bigger presence. We each carry the light of Love, the Self that connects to God or universal energy. When we look into another’s eyes and see this light, we see Love. When what we do is generous in spirit, honoring ourself and others, we feel Love. When what we say is kind and considerate toward ourself and others, we hear Love. When we make compassionate choices, we touch Love. When all of our choices are rooted in a spirit of non-harming, we are Love. 

Naturally, discovering true Love is a process, which by its very nature may involve three steps forward and one step back until it is fully revealed. The key to this journey toward Love is paying attention and making conscious choices. Love is limitless, unconditional, conscious, has no boundaries, and comes from awareness. 

So, how do we hasten the journey of love in our relationship with the world? Start by seeing love in everything. Take the time to find the good in the people you meet despite their perceived flaws. Sense the spirit within them. Take a moment to look at an animal, the sky, the trees, a rock, or any other object, and recognize its divine energy, bowing before it in your mind’s eye.  Choose your words wisely, asking yourself “is this kind, truthful, and necessary” before you speak. And when you fall off the path, start again in that moment. When we start to see the holiness of life around us, we become the love that we have been seeking.

Milissa Castanza Seymour M.S., C.H.is a N.Y.S. certified teacher and has been involved in healing arts for over twenty-five years. She is a professional, practicing Numerologist whose accomplishments include certifications as a Prana Yoga Teacher, Integrative Yoga Therapist/Holistic Health Educator, Consulting Hypnotist, Reiki Master Teacher, and Inner-Soul Coach. www.inner-soulcoaching.com.