How to Forgive Yourself
There are thousands of self-help techniques and meditations aimed at forgiveness. Some of them may not work well for you while others you will find truly transformational. I am going to introduce you to one that I’ve had great success with myself and that I’ve heard was life changing for others.

Sit alone, as if in meditation, and focus on your breathing for a time. Then set a timer for two minutes. In those two minutes, think of something that made you feel very hurt that someone else said or did that you are still holding on to the memory of. Remember how it felt, where you were, and what you were thinking. Allow yourself to be taken completely back into this space of pain.

When the timer goes off, set it for five minutes. During these five minutes, visualize yourself walking up to that person and saying, “I forgive you.” Tell him or her any healing thing you can think of that lets them know that you understand the painful emotions they were feeling that allowed them to act the way they acted or say the things they said.
Imagine this person fully accepting your forgiveness. Imagine them wanting it and just being afraid to ask for it. Imagine yourself embracing them. Stay with this feeling, creating the thought of this reconciliation, until the timer goes off.

Then set the timer for two minutes. During the two minutes, recall a time that you did or said something you regret doing. Let this be the memory of something where you still carry the pain of having done it. Recall the way it felt when you did it, where you were, who was there, and the pain on that person’s face. Allow yourself to be taken back into that space of pain.

When the timer goes off, set it for five minutes, and for those five minutes imagine asking forgiveness from whomever you hurt. Imagine wanting it. Imagine the person giving it to you freely. Imagine him or her feeling joy in giving forgiveness to you. Imagine the pain going away completely as you create and allow the reconciliation, knowing it’s all okay now. It’s over. You are forgiven.

This time, when the timer goes off, without setting it again, imagine you forgiving yourself for this same action or the thing you said. You can say to yourself, “I forgive you,” “I know you are a loving person,” or “I know you never meant to hurt anyone.” Say anything to yourself that you need to hear in order to free yourself from your feelings of guilt or disappointment. Imagine hugging yourself. Imagine telling yourself that you understand why you did it. Let yourself know how much you believe in yourself.
Maintain this visualization for as long as it takes for you to begin to feel a sense of peace, release, and even hopefulness. When you feel ready, open your eyes.

Some people find it easier to do this visualization with someone else instead of alone. If you want, you can ask another person to be the one to watch the time for you and verbally guide you through the different sections in this process that you may be afraid to initiate alone.
Be aware that this process can be very difficult. It can be like uncorking a dam that has been building up pressure for years. It can make you aware of your deep wounds and vulnerability. It can even make you break down. Just remember that breaking down is better than the pressure you were living with, because what you are in fact breaking down is everything that is preventing you from loving yourself.

Excerpted from Shadows Before Dawn by Teal Swan. Published by Hay House (May, 2015). Available in bookstores and online at www.hayhouse.com

Teal Swan, known to many as “The Spiritual Catalyst” or “The Giggling Guide,” was born, with a range of extrasensory abilities including clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and claircognizance. During her childhood, Teal’s parents, both wilderness rangers, accepted a job in Utah, unaware of the intensely religious climate of the location. Teal’s unusual abilities were not only frowned upon but also feared by many in the local religious community. They attracted the attention of a family acquaintance who inducted her into a cult, where she was ritualistically tortured for 13 years. Teal escaped from the cult at age 19 and began her process of recovery and transformation. She now travels the world as a spiritual luminary, teaching people how to find bliss and profound selflove in even the most difficult challenges. www.TealSwan.com.