“The holidays are only holy if we make them so” 

~Marianne Williamson

Peace, love, joy! The mantra of the holiday season rings in our ears yet how many of us dread the stress of the holiday season? Our relationships with family, friends, and lovers are often tested as we come together to celebrate. These can be anything but peaceful days, as we deal with relationships that can be trying at best, traumatic at worst.

At the root of our relationships with the people we hold dear is trust; the feeling of being emotionally safe with those we love and that love us. We want a level of predictability and safety, exposing vulnerability to another and expecting it to be protected. That same trust informs our faith and goodwill.

How do we develop trust? It grows on a foundation of compassion, non-judgment, caring, honesty, reciprocity, and selfreflection. This is the soil in which trust can deeply root. If every attempt at relating to another is based in: 1) compassion, not judgments founded on our own prejudices, 2) honesty, with caring concern versus veiled attacks, 3) giving, without conditions, but with boundaries, and 4) reflectingon our inner dialogue as a tool for self-understanding, we have a pretty good chance at developing positive relationships, good-will, and faith in others and the world around us.

Taking this further, let’s ask, “Who am I?” Do I have the qualities that build trust – those same qualities that I want to attract? Before any relationship can truly deepen, these answers have to be built into our relationship with ourselves. If we have a compassionate, non-judgmental, caring, open, honest, reciprocal, and self-reflective relationship with ourselves, it becomes easier to attract those types of relationships into our lives. We would treat others the way we treat ourselves. We would be anchored, enabling us to give what we want to attract.
     
In our relationship with ourselves, or others, we forge a soul connection that begins a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness is an evolutionary process where we discover that our “self” is actually our “Self.” It is our Self that leads with compassion, non-judgment, honesty, reciprocity, and introspection. It is the inner wisdom that whispers through the noise of being. When “Self” led, we go beyond the physical into the metaphysical, which manifests for everyone in different ways. Perhaps it is God, the Universe, Higher Consciousness, Center, or whatever “Higher” connection resonates with us. That connection tells us that life is a series of present moments that reveal opportunities to observe our choices and make changes that create sustainable relationships. Ultimately, trust is rooted in a foundation of the qualities (compassion, non-judgment, truth, reciprocity, self-inquiry) and practices of unfolding consciousness. It is a self-perpetuating process. As awareness of higher consciousness unfolds, the foundational practices deepen. As the foundational practices deepen, so does our soul consciousness.

In chatting with my friend Lori, she described trust as a glass that holds our relationships with friends, family, and lovers. When trust is broken, that glass shatters into a million pieces, creating a mess to be cleaned up, with no return to its former state. She likened its fragility to that of a symmetrical yet complex snowflake descending from the frigid sky only to melt into oblivion upon its landing.

These are beautiful descriptions that reflect great vulnerability. I propose, though, that when navigating life from our “center” as described above, the glass remains a receptive vessel that does not have to shatter, and the snowflake is a beautiful and complex frozen work of art that miraculously transforms into a glistening drop

Milissa Castanza Seymour M.S., C.H.is a N.Y.S. certified teacher and has been involved in healing arts for over twenty-five years. She is a professional, practicing Numerologist whose accomplishments include certifications as a Prana Yoga Teacher, Integrative Yoga Therapist/Holistic Health Educator, Consulting Hypnotist, Reiki Master Teacher, and Inner-Soul Coach. www.inner-soulcoaching.com.