Although Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and New Years are supposed to be fun, a lot of people feel ambushed by obligations when the holidays roll around. After all, there are deadlines to meet, cards (or e-cards) to be sent, and presents that have to be ready by a particular date. We are bombarded with messages that tell us we have to buy stuff for people we love and people we think we should love as well as the people at work, our children’s teachers, and that weird cousin who we haven’t seen in 20 years who always sends a box of grapefruits.

Despite our best efforts to plan, getting ready for the holidays is a lot like life on a Hollywood set: always over budget and running late. Add to that the relentless multi-tasking we have to do every day and the pressure to make everything—food, decorations, invitations—just perfect and you have created a masterful recipe for stress stew. By stress stew, I mean surges of stress hormones—cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenal hormones—that normally help us stay stoked for multitasking and solving problems. But when we are hit with competing deadlines, social pressure, and financial overload, those hormones can flood us with feelings of tension, irritability, and fatigue. And let’s not forget guilt, the shoulda-coulda-woulda of the emotional spectrum. Being impacted by stress is not a sign that there’s something wrong with you. You are having a normal physiological/biochemical response to a plethora of triggers.  

The impact of stress triggers on the body is well known. Dr. Hans Selye, the father of stress, defined it as “how the body reacts to change.” Change can be in the form of eu-stress, or positive stress, as in receiving a holiday bonus or going on vacation. But when we talk about stress, we usually mean dis-stress, meaning unhealthy or negative stress. Having to spend the holidays with people whom you don’t like—even on a cruise—or spending too much money on gifts for your family are considered dis-stress.  According to the Holmes and Raye Social Readjustment Survey, Christmas holidays and vacation rank as life events that produce higher than usual levels of stress. (You can check out the survey by googling “The Stress Test.”) 

The good news is that because holiday stress is seasonal, you can prepare for it ahead of time with “stress inoculations.” Like a flu shot, a stress inoculation helps your body-mind to anticipate, prepare, and rehearse ahead of time so that you know how to prevent, lower, and alleviate stress responses before the actual event.

Here Are 5 Proven Ways To Lower Your Stress Levels Around The Holidays:

1. Reframe your expectations.  It’s almost impossible to avoid being bombarded with commercial messages that equate love with giving expensive gifts.  I used to remove myself by traveling to the Third World during the holidays but a few years ago I realized that no matter where you go, the commercialization of Christmas will be there to greet you. We were in a Venezuelan desert so remote that people rode horses bareback through the cacti to get to the nearest grocery story. I thought I was home free but when we went into the store, there was a giant inflatable Santa Claus at the head of the soup aisle and Elvis was singing “Jingle Bell Rock.” Recognizing there was no point in trying to escape, I shifted my expectations in order to create a new sense of comfort and wellbeing around the holidays.  My first step was identifying the triggers that caused me discomfort.  Commercials are hard to ignore but I can choose to change the channel and use an affirmation that reinforces contentment such as, “The holidays are a great time to reconnect with old friends.”  
   
   
2. Chill out for 5 minutes a day.  More than four decades of Harvard research into the stress response shows that we need 20 minutes a day of focused relaxation to lower stress levels, improve immune system functioning, and to have an overall sense of wellness. I don’t know anyone who can sit down for 20 minutes straight but Harvard studies also show that 5-minute “mini-breaks” taken four times a day offer the same health and wellness benefits as one 20-minute sitting. Find four “windows” when you can sit quietly for five minutes. You can close your eyes and listen to music, meditate, think about a place that gives you a warm, good feeling, or simply light a candle and watch the flame.  If you can’t find four “windows” to relax, hit the pause button on your life for just five minutes a day. As a Buddhist monk told me, “The important thing is to sit for a few minutes every day. That is more important than sitting for longer periods if you do not do it daily.” Remember: It takes one lunar cycle to develop a new habit so make chilling out for 5 minutes a habit like brushing your teeth. After about 10 days you will notice that you look forward to taking those 5 minutes for yourself and you won’t want to miss a day. By the time the holidays arrive, don’t be surprised at how much calmer you are than last year.
   
   
3. What’s on your “Not-to-Do” List?  Adding holiday tasks to your already full “To-Do” list can cause your stress levels to spike. But if you look at your list every day and choose one task that is not absolutely necessary for that day, make a separate column called “Not-to-Do” and move the not so essential task from the “To-Do” list over to your “Not-to-Do” list. Estimate the amount of time you would have spent on that particular activity and then give yourself that block of time to do something fun for yourself: take a walk, enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend, or get a massage. Conserving your energy while giving yourself time to take care of yourself will keep you energized for more important holiday-related events.
   
   
4. Don’t leave home without your “magic glasses.”   If the holidays put you in situations where you have to spend time with people who neither care for you nor respect you – or people whom you just don’t like – try this trick. Imagine that you are wearing “magic glasses” and whenever you look at someone the glasses change your perceptual position from 3-dimensional to 2-dimensional. Voila! That annoying co-worker or whiny relative is instantly flattened out. And don’t be surprised when he or she is transformed into a cartoon or caricature. The “magic glasses” are a powerful Jedi mind tool that access your reserves of humor and detachment. You can enjoy hanging out with whomever is there now that you have turned them into a 2-dimensional cartoon. And it’s harmless and funny. Never known to fail, the “magic glasses” give you a secret magic power! Try them on and let me know how they work.
   
   
5. Create a new holiday tradition that does not cost money. If you ask many people what their childhood holidays were like, the word usually used to describe them is “simpler.”   The holidays had more to do with family getting together than buying a Mercedes with a bow on top. Now at Christmas, we are programmed to give and to expect expensive presents as a sign of love. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Make a list of the things that you like about the holidays and traditions you want to keep. Then come up with one or two new traditions: Have lunch with a few friends whom you don’t see the rest of the year. Or spend some time on the phone visiting with someone who lives far away. Skype with your loved ones overseas. Create an annual photo or video album. Plan an outing to go to the country and get a freshly cut tree or invite your children’s friends and their mom’s over to make latkes or Christmas cookies. The holidays are a great time to visit Manhattan and take a hansom cab ride around Central Park.
   

My favorite tradition is borrowed from the Brazilians who go to the ocean on New Year’s Eve with white roses that they throw into the sea with their wishes for the New Year.  According to custom, if the roses go out to sea, it means that the Mother of the Sea (who corresponds to the Holy Mother in Christianity) will grant your wishes in the coming year. It’s a beautiful holiday tradition and you will be amazed at how often those New Year’s wishes do come true.

Laurie Nadel, Ph.D. is Vice-President of  MindBodyNetwork and www.mindbodynetwork.com, a global online community of  integrative and holistic practitioners. Author of the four-time best-seller Sixth Sense: Unlocking Your Ultimate Mind Power, she has been a guest on Oprah, and Coast to Coast AM with George Noory. Laurie has a psychotherapy practice in Manhattan and Long Beach:  www.laurienadel.com