As we approach that magical day, 2/14/2014, our thoughts turn to love – or more precisely, romantic love.

It’s a concept that’s been around since medieval times, but it’s reinvented itself over the centuries. Today, when we talk about romantic love, what we usually mean is:

• Your soul mate
• Your true love
• Your destiny
• Your one and only
• Love at first sight

These are terms for what is energetically referred to as a primary soul mate who’s also a romantic partner. But when we set aside all the champagne-and-chocolate that is the hallmark of modern romance, we understand at a deeper level that these significant soul matings are karmic crossings, and they exist to teach us the lessons of soul growth.

Soul mates work on soul growth
No matter what your age, you can look back and determine the love relationships that were significant karmic crossings in your life. In relationships that were positive, you might have been working on soul lessons such as:

• Trust
• Love
• Openness
• Patience
• Selflessness

In negative or lesser relationships, you might have been working on lessons such as:

• Power
• Control
• Betrayal
• Addiction
• Abuse
• Anger
• Abandonment

In either case, these karmic crossings helped you to move forward as a Divine being learning in a human lifetime.

Do we just have one soul mate?
Just as we have multiple relationships with all kinds of people, we also have multiple soul mates. In fact, everyone’s a soul mate, at some level or another! However, most people use the term soul mate to describe the concept of primary soul mate – that one special person you’re destined to meet, who’s going to change your life!

Many of us will have at least one of these primary soul matings in our lifetime. Often, we’ll have a few. With divorce rates hovering at 50 percent and fewer people getting married at all, the idea of one lifetime relationship is just not part of our culture anymore. Nowadays, it’s likely that people will have several soul mates in a lifetime.

So, what happens when we meet someone who we think is a soul mate, but, over time, the relationship doesn’t work out? What happens when you split up from the person you thought was a soul mate, and then eventually, you meet another person who you are equally certain is your soul mate? Does this mean your first partner or spouse wasn’t a soul mate after all? No, not at all. Both your past and current partner were soul mates. It’s just that the first soul mate you were with helped you learn a particular karmic lesson or set of lessons. Once those lessons were learned, you were ready to move to a more advanced set of lessons, with the new soul mate.

Our soul mates always match us where we are, in terms of our consciousness and heart expansion. You know the saying “like attracts like”? Well, that’s how it works. When you’re immature and not yet conscious, you attract a soul mate who’s at the same place in his/her development. When you jump levels and expand into more awareness, you meet a soul mate who can match you there.

Why soul mates separate
Soul mates separate when they have learned the lessons they were destined to learn together. Once you’ve completed the soul lessons you’ve been put together to learn, then the relationship is also complete. You’re ready to move forward and learn new lessons, with another partner.

Most adults have been in profoundly significant relationships that “didn’t work out” over time. It’s not because you didn’t love the person at the time, or because the person wasn’t your soul mate. It’s just that for most of us in modern culture, there’s going to be more than one karmic crossing in a lifetime.

How do you know you’ve met a soul mate?
When you meet a soul mate, you know it. There’s an immediate sense of recognition of the soul personality. Many people who have met their soul mates often describe this kind of soul recognition as a deep familiarity, sense that they already knew the person, or of “coming home.”

However, even if you recognize the soul personality, the human container may be very different from what you expected: they’re older, younger, a different race, a different culture. They’re your perfect soul match, but they don’t look or act anything like what you expected!

The energy of soul mates
And then, there is the energy. The Universe often let’s us know when we’re meeting a soul mate in the form of visible energy, such as white flashes, lightning bolts, auras, and so forth. For example, my client Anna did some work with me to call forth her soul mate. Soon after, she met a new co-worker at a staff meeting, and the minute they shook hands, she felt dizzy. “My knees went weak; I actually had to excuse myself and sit down,” she explained. Shortly after, she was in the company kitchen and who should walk in but this man. As they stood in the room together, “a bolt of lightning leaped across from his body to mine,” she said. “It was bright white, about ten inches tall, and extended the full eight feet between us. I gasped, and when I looked at him, his mouth was hanging open and he looked stunned.” This kind of visible energy is common when soul mates meet for the first time, as if the Universe is asking us to wake up, take note, pay attention!

Soul mates are more than romantic
Primary soul mates aren’t always romantic partners. They can also be the best friend, family member or colleague we are deeply connected to in our lives. Again, every soul meeting is a karmic crossing, designed to help us work through lessons of soul growth in this lifetime. Understanding this – that we are all here to teach each other – can help us manifest a more joyful approach to life and love, in all the kinds of relationships we have.

Sara Wiseman is a spiritual teacher and author of six enlightening books on spiritual intuition. She hosts the popular radio show Ask Sara, and is a regular contributor to DailyOM, VividLife, InspireMeToday and more. Visit her online at www.sarawiseman.com.