Happiness … Are You Interested?
by Anne Starnes Kingsbury, MA, MS • Huntington Station, NY

What makes us happy is a personal consideration. But that doesn’t define happiness. “What” can be as concrete as the things money can buy, or as ethereal as pursuing perennial youthfulness. 
         
Happiness is a state of being. It should not be dependent on conditions. In essence, most of us should strive to be happy at all times. Barring extreme circumstances, there’s just no excuse not to be.
         
To begin with, true happiness is a sense of satisfaction that is a pervasive theme nurtured in the back of your mind. As we register the variety of data presented to our senses every day we need to admit to ourselves the goodness obvious in each twenty-four hours. This would include other people, household artifacts that remind of us of happy times, activities that support and energize our thoughts, physical well-being, the free beauty of nature, and the miracles that humans have discovered and created. This is the practice of gratitude. Gratitude is the antithesis of fear. The mind cannot focus on both at once. And the absence of fear is happiness.
         
To expand on this theme, happiness is not feeling cheery all the time. Happiness is interest, a wonderfully simple, attainable attitude. When we engage in a purposeful activity, or become consumed in a creative pursuit, happiness is ongoing, and the lasting residue. After all, a hallmark of depression is a loss of interest in what had engaged you before. The best way to be attractive to someone else is to show interest in that person’s unique persona. A curiosity about new ideas and experiences provides the thrilling thought that there is so much, so very much. We are rich with possibilities.
         
Happiness is preserved with this bit of old wisdom: we should hold everything loosely. The intensity that we assign to many of the facets of our lives is over-done. This can translate into chronic, needless worrying. Fearsome concerns should be turned over to a higher power. That’s what prayer is for. When we take ourselves too seriously we can diminish our capacity for happiness. This includes entitlement, how we think we ought to be treated. Expectation diminishes joy. Be light.
         
And finally, look for the humor in things. Instead of being angry or annoyed, be amused when circumstances aren’t going your way. And find the humor in ordinary living too. It’s okay to indulge a childlike whimsy. You don’t have to be such an adult all the time. Mark Twain said, “Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” It’s our universal tonic, our not-so-secret weapon against the blues. 
         
Choose happiness. 

Anne Starnes Kingsbury, MA, MS is a Stress Management Coach.  Look on facebook for “Effective Stress Management,” contact her on effectivestressmanagement@yahoo.com, and read her blog, http:/successoverstress.blogspot.com for practical ways to control stress and anxiety. Call 631-805-4529.