Transformation in the New Year by Ariel & Shya Kane

Transformation in the New Year
by Ariel & Shya Kane

New Year's resolutions are things we promise ourselves we are going to do in the future. They usually spring from the idea that we need to improve some aspect of our body, way of being or personal habits with the expectation that when we improve, we will simultaneously achieve wellbeing and satisfaction. This is all well and good but if you ask yourself the question, "Has it worked for me to make resolutions about how I should be in the year to come?" you might discover that in the past you either quit on yourself, did not follow through or the attainment of the goal did not produce the commensurate satisfaction you expected.

There is a transformational alternative, which does not involve changing or fixing your life. This New Year, see if you can be the way you are, not the way you think you ought to be. Instead of striving to be different, see if you can be exactly the way you are, without making yourself wrong or right for being that way.

"What good will that do?" you might ask, "How can one possibly effect positive change without setting a goal or resolving to do better?" The answer is simple. When you discover how to live in the moment, your life transforms as a natural byproduct and things that you have been struggling to change simply dissolve. Here is how it works.

There are three basic principles of Instantaneous Transformation.

The first principle is: Anything you resist persists and grows stronger. Chances are, those things that you want to change or fix about yourself have persisted, no matter how many times you have resolved to change them.

The second principle is: No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. For example, if you are sitting while you are reading this article, you will discover that you could only be sitting right now.

We all have been taught that we can improve our lives and our lot in life. But in this very moment of now, you can only be exactly as you are. Striving to attain an idea or an ideal is akin to saying the way you are is imperfect or flawed. You may have the idea that you can be different, but in reality, in this moment, you are the way you are.

If we were to take a photograph of you, the moment the picture was taken, you could only have been the way the camera captured you in that moment. You can't change the way you were. Life shows up in a series of moments of now and in this moment of now you can only be exactly the way you are – and that is the second principle.

The third principle is: When you allow yourself to be the way you are, and notice how you are being without judging yourself, a phenomenon takes place called completion. In other words, if you notice the way you behave without trying to change or fix yourself and without judging what you discover, those behaviors that you have been trying to change or ways of being that you have been putting up with will complete themselves, just with awareness. You can think of awareness like taking a block of ice and letting it sit in the sun. The radiant heat of simple awareness is enough to melt old, frozen mechanical behaviors.

So for this New Year as an experiment and an alternative to making resolutions, try a transformational approach. See if you can simply notice the way you are being in your life without judging yourself for what you discover. It is possible to reach a state of awareness where those behavior patterns that have run your life will lose their power over you. We've done it and you can, too.

How to Have a Match Made in Heaven

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have taught individuals, couples and organizations across the globe how to live in the moment and unwire the knee-jerk behaviors that get in the way of living life with ease. Together for 30 years and counting, people still ask Ariel and Shya if they are on their honeymoon. How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage is available everywhere books are sold. For more information about the book, the Kanes and their seminars, visit www.MatchMadeinHeavenBook.com.