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An Ode to Ron
My old friend Ron Rebhuhn is dying. Actually, he is much more than a friend. He was a guide, mentor, therapist – and a friend. He introduced me to so many important things in life. The first astrological reading he did for me in 1980 was probably one of the most validating experiences I had ever had in my life up till then. In therapy, he gave me so many valuable insights- at a time when I most needed them. He wasn’t afraid to kick my ass either, and in so doing helped scrape me off the curb when I was there in my early twenties. We shared a love for folk music, singing, tennis, good food, self-development and most of all: The search for the spirit. “See Reality Constantly!” he would bark at me, quoting George Gurdjieff or some other spiritual master. Ram Dass, musicians Gordon Bok and David Darling, Puja Thomson, (I would eventually leave Ron to continue therapy with her for the next 15 years!,) my favorite yoga teacher Rhicky Speckles, Sri Chinmoy and his community, bodyworker Chuck Ruland, gifted psychic Barbara Stabiner, and even Osho, (then Rajneesh) who became and continues to be my deepest and most profound spiritual teacher. All these and so many more connections came to me via Ron. I can’t begin to imagine how different my life would have been without him. Ron is a crazy man—ask almost anyone who knows him. Fortunately, so am I. He charged me $25 an hour for therapy every week for about 2.5 years, because that’s what I could afford. I remember once telling him that I was uncomfortable with our financial arrangement and he responded with a smile, “Well, you can pay me back when you make your first million dollars.” I’m sad to say that I now doubt that I’ll ever be in that financial situation. And now, he is dying and my window to repay Ron is virtually shutting. I’ve been around many spiritual people and teachers. But, there’s never been someone whom I really wanted to see honored—before their death! In our silly culture, the biggest tribute most of us get is at our own funerals. For many, that’s okay. But for Ron, somehow I really hoped things would be different. You see, Ron has a peculiar style. He tries to “ask what he wants to know.” So, in this way, he’s not shy, nor does he hesitate to offer his opinions. This is often disconcerting to many he comes in contact with. And, in his classic Sagittarian joy-filled way, he also likes to be goofy. While this too is a powerful spiritual teaching, it can push buttons for the vast number of over-serious beings in our culture. But, I’ve never seen Ron’s curiosity or directness as malicious. He always had good intentions, even when he was trying to “wake someone up” out of what he considered to be their “unconscious stupor.” One of many books he turned me onto was called, “The War Against Sleep” and in many ways, Ron committed his life to being a warrior in this battle—and in so doing, received some deep battle scars along the way: As many who deal in the rare realms of truth often do. Due to his peculiar style, it was easy for many of the people Ron came in contact with to brush off his insights (which were usually spot on and brilliant) as “Oh, that’s just crazy Ron Rebhuhn.” But the majority of his clients would keep coming back: For tennis lessons, guitar or voice lessons, astrology readings, therapy, encounter groups, chi gong classes and more. (Typical of Ron, his business card listed all of these!) They kept coming back, even though they might not be able to put their finger on what they were getting out of being with Ron. This was because Ron’s work had less to do with this world and more to do with a deeper level: Feeding the soul—something most of us are so removed and disconnected from that we don’t even recognize when our souls are being fed and nourished. Over the years, Ron fed so many, so much. But since the “food” he offered was unusual and foreign, combined with his offbeat style and reputation as a “mad man,” people were often quick to write off his wisdom as weird or insane. Even worse, they might dismiss the profound depth of what was occurring between them and Ron, because it was so unfamiliar—at least in Western culture. In India, Ron would have been recognized and valued as a spiritual teacher and a holy man. But here, I feel he was very unappreciated. And it’s for this reason that I hoped Ron would be honored in some way while he was alive. To give him a chance to really see how much effect he has had on so many—and to give these people a chance to realize how important he was to them. I haven’t wished this for anyone I’ve ever known as much as I did for Ron. But now, it’s probably too late. I’ve heard that he was inducted into the Eastern Tennis Association’s Hall of Fame recently. Ron was too weak too attend, but his beloved son Eric accepted on his behalf, and read a speech that Ron sent along with him. And me, I’m in North Carolina, trying to shift my schedule around to get to New York to see Ron again. Probably for one last time. This letter may be MY only way to honor him—and that makes me very sad. Even though I haven’t seen or spoken with Ron the last few years, my world will be considerably more empty without him. I owe him so much. But what I will miss most is the light he brought to all the inner adventures we had together. I will miss you, Ron—my comrade in spirit. With love, always. Your friend,
Note: Ron Rebhuhn finally surrended to ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) on Sunday, Aug. 26. |
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