Your Natural Ability to Live Free of Fear
by Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. •New York City

Today the world seems upside down, many anchors we relied on for safety have been taken away and fear rules the day. But there is no innate reason why we should live in the grip of fear. Once we see the truth about fear, it’s easy to release it and reclaim our original wisdom and strength.

Many are confused about fear, they feel that holding onto fear will keep them safe and vigilant against danger. The opposite is true. Being stung by fear is like being stung by a serpent: it fills you with poison, immobilizes your senses, and blocks your understanding of how to proceed. It’s one thing to have an intellectual understanding of fear, it’s another to actually eradicate it from your life. But it is not difficult to do once you undertake the practice of fearlessness and learn how to recognize and release fear daily. Once you dissolve fear, clarity and knowledge of what to do arises.

To begin the process of dissolving fear, let’s become familiar with the many faces of fear, see the ways it appears, the effects it has, how it camouflages itself and infiltrates all aspects of your lives.

The Many Faces of Fear

Fear is a trickster, it manifests in all kinds of ways; as obsession, confusion, loss of control, or dysfunction in any area of your life. Fear can be triggered by anything – thoughts, beliefs or memories. Sometimes you enter a meeting feeling good, and pick up on the energy of others. Fear is contagious. Your happy mood disappears and suddenly, you too are, nervous and glum. Other times dire messages assault you. You hear that enemies will be attacking, the economy is failing, banks are closing, your savings are in danger, a loved one is ill, a partner is flirting with another. Any of these dire messages, which you give credence to, can bring forth an attack of fear. I say attack of fear, because what is terrible about the message you hear is the fear it generates.

Realize – If you don’t believe the message, or do not trust the person telling you the news, fear does not appear. It is not the news you hear, but the way you react to it, the fear you feel, that immobilizes. Some give negative messages simply to control through fear. When you are in the grip of fear, you can be easily manipulated and controlled, no longer in charge of your mind, or spirit. But no matter what situation confronts you, there is an alternative to a life driven by fear, and that is the process of becoming fearless.

Stop – Whenever a message is fraught with fear, reject it immediately. Even if you think it is true, reject it. Reject it because you do not have the full use of your faculties when you are in the grip of fear. Wait until the fear has vanished to decide if it is true. By rejecting the message, the fear will subside and you will become clearer. There is plenty of time later on to decide if the message is true. (Most of the time it isn’t.) Fear thrives on your belief in it. It needs you to believe the stories, ideas, beliefs, catastrophic expectations, it’s feeding you. Once fear has your belief in it, then it turns your mind and heart to putty and knots. It causes paralysis.

Truth wipes out fear on the spot.

Just a little light washes lots of darkness away. Even a moment of truth begins to loosen the grip of fear. All the pain, damage, illness created by fear seems very real. But it can be dissolved easily. As soon as you see the truth of the matter, fear loses its power to disturb. As soon as you stand in the truth, the healing power of love appears. This is an indisputable law of the mind and heart.

Instead of believing in the power of fear, why not believe in the power of truth? Before you can see the truth of a situation, you have to look fear in the eye, see how it arises, and how it takes hold in so many areas of your life. As you do so, there are certain truths about fear that become clear.

Fear is a Bully

This cannot be said too often. It is a new mantra that must be adopted, and made part of your flesh and bones. The more you attribute power to fear, the more it takes over your life. Fear preys upon those who run away from it. The faster you run from fear, the more it chases you, creating confusion and loss of bearings. You run from fear through drugs, drink, relationships, fantasy and addictions of all kinds. But you are not a puppet controlled by your conditioning – you can stop.

Rather than mindlessly obeying fear’s warnings, take a new course – stop in your tracks and realize that you are just up against a bully, and a stupid one at that.

Stop a moment and see fear as a bully. See yourself running away from it. Now take amoment to stop running, and turn around. That’s all you need do at this moment. A bully takes its strength from your fear, flight and anguish. Just by not escaping, by not running away you are also stopping fear in its tracks. Why is it so hard to stand still?

Henry Miller has said, “The only real miracle is standing still.” He knew what he was talking about. Fear makes us nervous and restless. It creates the illusion that if you keep moving, keep busy, do something, you will feel better. But the actions you take which are fueled by fear are often destructive and useless.

Stand Still and see where fear arises from? See yourself unwilling to flee from the fear you are feeling. Let the fear know you refuse to run. What happens to the fear as you do so?

This stepping back, looking the bully in the eye is all that is needed for the bully to get nervous and start to back down. It knows it’s being uncovered for the unreal weakling it is. Most of us live under the affliction of fear unknowingly, not dreaming of what our lives could really be. We seldom touch the enormous power we all have to be free, brave, strong, creative, happy, loving, to live our dreams and share with others, to live a life that is fulfilled.

Fear Stops Us Cold

Sheila had wonderful plans for how her life would be. She sat at home visualizing her beautiful future. She made lists, planned and imagined how happy she would be when all came to pass. When asked why she took no action, she always said the time wasn’t right. She wasn’t ready, the stars weren’t in alignment, she would know when the moment came.

Sheila didn’t realize that every moment is a good moment. There is no better time than now to begin. Another way fear trips us up is by telling us we can do it later, that we have all the time in the world. We don’t. We don’t even know if tomorrow will come. Now is the time. Now is a great medicine for undoing fear.

Do It Now. There is always some action you can take, however small, from which you will learn and grow more confident. Find something you can do, and do it now. See what needs to be done in the moment, take a tiny, do-able step towards a larger goal. When you do what has to be done now, fear doesn’t have the time or space to grow strong. Fear grows in empty spaces, while you are waiting, imagining and planning. You imagine all kinds of obstacles, ways things will not work out. When you are in action, focusing upon what you are doing, there is no room for fear to grow.

A New Vibration: The Practice of Love

Fear has a vibration that calls certain people, events and situations to it. When you are afraid of dogs, a dog will sense it, bark and attack. When you feel loving towards the animal, the dog will sense it as well and respond in kind. The truth is that love is so much stronger than fear. Even a little drop of love can dissolve and heal so much fear and pain. Our hearts are filled with this love; we could not survive without it. And yet, we are so stingy, we refuse to open our hearts and give. But as you dissolve fear, you simultaneously come into the healing presence of love. The practice of dissolving fear is also the practice of love.

Stop: think of a time when, unexpectedly, love burst through in your life. This could be love of a person, child, animal, sunset, self, a moment of seeing the beauty around you. It could be a time when you received a surprising kindness, overlooked an insult, or suddenly decided to extend yourself. It could be a moment when you forgot your own self-interest and reached for something larger. Dwell upon this.

Moments of love are happening continuously, but you do not always stop and notice and take account of them, take them in, relish their effects on you. You are so pre-occupied by fear that these moments of love might even seem unimportant.

Whatever you pay attention to in your life, increases and intensifies.

What do you want to pay attention to – love or fear? What do you want more of in your life?

Pay Attention to a moment of love, and then another. Take note of the effect it has upon you. Take note of the effect it has upon others as well.

Based upon Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind

Learn how to release fear and build fearless relationships in Fearless: The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind, by Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.d. www. becomefearless.org. Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, relationship expert, author and workshop leader. She can be reached at topspeaker@yahoo.com, www.becomefearless.org.