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Lessons from a Woodpecker For the last few days, I have listened to the tat-tat-tat-tat noise from a nearby woodpecker. All in all, a fairly annoying sound. But annoyance would soon give way to curiosity, as I dug out an old pair of field glasses to spy on my reverberating little friend. High up on a tree trunk, I could see a tiny head banging as hard as it could against the solid wood. It started me thinking. Does it get headaches? What happens to that little brain with each strike against the solid wood? The more I thought about it, the more I developed a sense of wonder... And then I began to think, what if the woodpecker started thinking, well, like a person. For example, “This isn’t fair, I shouldn’t have to do this. This is awful work. I can’t do this anymore. I must be a loser to have wound up with this job. Nobody ever helps me. Life stinks!” Of course, birds can’t think like that. It might be because their entire brain has to fit into a space the size of a nickel or it might be because evolution would not allow such depressive thinking to survive in the gene pool. Humans however, are quite capable of thinking that way. And this is where our big brains can go awry. For those interested in the underlying psychological theory, REBT (or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is meant to address just such thinking. Let’s look at this poor woodpecker’s thinking through the lens of REBT. First, it thinks “This isn't fair, I shouldn’t have to do this.” This is called “demanding” and is characterized by the use of words like should, ought, must and it is all backed by the belief that life should be fair. Second, it thinks “This is awful work.” This is “awfulizing” and is reflected in the use of words like awful, terrible and horrible. Third, “I can’t do this anymore,” which indicates frustration and intolerance. Fourth, the thought that "I must be a loser” is something called self-downing. You know you are self-downing when you criticize and judge yourself harshly. Fifth, “Nobody ever helps me” is an example of other-downing. This is when you criticize and judge others harshly. Finally, by thinking that “Life stinks” (a great Mel Brooks movie, by the way), you are judging all of life as bad. So, what is a big brained human to do? Everyone has some of these thoughts at one time or another but how do you keep from being captivated by them? REBT suggests that you debate or challenge your beliefs and replace them with realistic, more positive beliefs. Some ideas are to change your demands into preferences. Instead of “it must be” you could think, “I’d prefer it if...” If something is pretty awful, think of it as temporary, and something that you are working toward changing. For frustration intolerance, think that “I don't like this, but I can manage it.” For all the “downings”, see all sides. Yeah, maybe my job is less than ideal but I really enjoy my weekends. Or yeah, Jim really has bad manners but he is always willing to lend a hand. You get the idea, take a step back to see the bigger picture. Viewed in a larger context, the “downers” will not look as bad. REBT also suggests behavioral changes, distraction, visualization, the use of humor and shame reduction exercises. If REBT alone is not sufficient, an increasingly popular technique called mindfulness might add an extra boost. The book The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness is an excellent resource that combines cognitive therapy with mindfulness and meditation. I can smile as I listen, now that I have learned the lesson of the woodpecker.
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