BOOK REVIEWS
by John Calabrese

The Purpose of Boys:
Helping Our Sons Find Meaning, Significance, and Direction in Their Lives
by Michael Gurian
Jossey-Bass, A Wiley Imprint
www.josseybass.com
In The Purpose of Boys, best-selling author Gurian provides more than just a guide for raising male children. His focus is on the broader context of how boys can begin to glimpse their future in terms of purpose, capability, and a sense of deserving. The author talks frankly about teaching the core values of character, morality and ethics, and why these elements are so vital to the proper maturing of a child–and to rethink the frantic schedules that often get in the way such teachings.

In discussing the value of learning self-reflection, Gurian writes: “If a boy can’t sit silently in nature (or another quiet place) and look carefully at who he is and who he will become, he will not be fully capable of finding his destiny and purpose.” One of the other standout features is the emphasis not only on the individual, but on how a young man can “also serve humanity.” In this age of global need, the message of individual responsibility and collective cooperation cannot be implored enough.

A Promise to Ourselves:
A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce
by Alec Baldwin with Mark Tabb
St. Martin’s Press
www.stmartins.com
“I never wanted to write this book,” begins this stunning, intensely personal look into the mechanics of a difficult divorce process. The title represents Baldwin’s promise to himself to get through the battles of a highly-publicized divorce from actress Kim Basinger, and also to retain a relationship with their daughter, Ireland.
A Promise to Ourselves contains essential information on PAS, or Parental Alienation Syndrome, whereby a custodial parent exerts pressure on a child to choose sides, and become their emotional caretaker. The child, fearing the loss of love from this parent, wants to please them and thus gradually distances themselves from the other parent, usually the father.

The book reads like a mystery novel, intriguing and surprising at many turns. It is also a portrait of hope for men who have been decimated by the charades of family law. “She knows you will always be there, so she takes that for granted,” one key therapist told Baldwin. “She just assumes you know that she has no choice and that you will understand.”

Fixing the Ungodly Mess: A Pathway to Change
by Arnold Fultz
AuthorHouse™
www.authorhouse.com
If you are interested in a blunt assessment of America’s condition, with plenty of room given to solutions, Fixing the Ungodly Mess will make for a thought-provoking read. A former airline executive and resident of Appalachia (one of the poorest regions of the country), Fultz clearly outlines what’s wrong and what needs to be fixed.

We are overwhelmed as a people, and a nation. What led to the current state of affairs? Dependence on fossil fuels, a disjointed healthcare system, a lagging educational system, and political greed and gridlock in the corporate capitalism that passes for much of upper-level government in America.
The author’s bold statements will keep you riveted to each page. He shows how Americans are so often betrayed by the very system they pay into with their taxes, and how corporate interests can and must be balanced with what’s best for the majority. The solutions are achievable, emphasizes Fultz, and will require more participation from each of us. Sign me up.

John Calabrese is the Editor-at-Large at Creations Magazine and has a private counseling practice in Huntington, NY.