Men and Fathers - Find Truth in Compassion
by David Weisner • Staten Island, NY

Wait until your father gets home!!!” was a phrase met with trepidation and fear by many young children, since traditionally, men were the breadwinners and the disciplinarians in the family. Today we live in a more egalitarian society where women are just as likely to be working full time as men and a softer approach by men toward their children is much more culturally accepted.

Fortunately, we are moving into an age where it is socially sanctioned for men to express themselves and be sensitive to the feelings of their families and society at large. Men tend to be much more emotionally available to their children then in the past. Despite this, there is a still a huge machismo shadow felt in many parts of the world. It is up to those of us with awareness, to usher in the new age of enlightenment by teaching our boys that anger, violence, and harshness are not the calling cards of a man.
There are so many mixed messages out there for boys and men today. While there is less tolerance for domestic abuse and sexual impropriety there are still so many signals that violence and fighting are legitimate ways for a man to work out his problems. A huge source of these mixed messages can be found in the proliferation of fighting in sports. Children are taught in school to use their words to solve their differences. Yet, we may bring our children to a professional hockey game, for example, only to see two grown men drop their sticks and gloves and punch each other out over a game. The punishment for this heinous behavior is perhaps five minutes in the penalty box.

The approval and acceptance of fighting in professional sports with minor or no consequences is a terrible message to be giving our children. What happened to the message that violence is wrong and never solves any problem?

We want our boys to grow into strong, well adjusted, emotionally mature men who can negotiate through the problems of life with their minds and communication skills, not their fists. Yet all around them are the opposite messages. Young males are bombarded with violent video games where the object is to kill or destroy and the television and movie screens are littered with violent role models who beat up or shoot everything in their wake.

Today, there are a greater number of conscious males in our culture, than ever before who can serve as role models. Great men of compassion like the Dali Lama walk the earth and teach the benefits of a calm mind and a benevolent spirit. Great writers and speakers like Wayne Dyer, Gary Zukav and Eckhart Tolle demonstrate that men can be gentle and strong, spiritual and dynamic, and compassionate and capable. We need even more male role models to step forward from the light workers of the world. Fathers need to teach their boys and all their children that kindness is what matters in the grand scheme of things. Kindness is not weakness but a general outgrowth of the compassion that comes with greater spiritual awareness. Women seem to inherently posses this quality more than men, so is up to fathers and mothers to try to nurture compassion in their boys.

We need compassion to save ourselves and the planet. When we show real love of this world and all life, then things will start to change for the better. And they have started already. In the midst of all this violence and war, anger, and greed, light beams of hope are starting to shine through all parts of the globe. Men are changing and becoming more receptive to the gentler energies. When men fully embrace their roles as complete human beings and realize they too must nurture the world in peace, harmony and understanding, then the transformation from the old ways to the age of evolved consciousness will be fully underway.

David Weisner is a poet, writer and musician, and has written a book about spirituality. David is also working on a book of poetry and a memoir. He teaches guitar and piano privately in Staten Island.
Please write to David@dweisner.com.