Attention Moms (Dads, too): Watch Your Thoughts
by Denise Romas • Islip, NY

We are powerful beings. Our thought forms are energy, and, as such, create an energy field around us. This energy field attracts like energies. Therefore, it is to our advantage to keep our thoughts as pure and positive as possible -- no small task in our fast-paced world filled with many stressors.

As Mothers, we slip right into taking on more than we are required to, as far as our children’s lives are concerned. Yes, while in the beginning, we are their sole resource for the basics, one of the hardest things I have experienced, as a Mom is to know when and how to ease off from this sense of importance. The degree with which we can assess our parental role and make adjustments accordingly as they grow, is proportionate to how much stress we put on ourselves as we watch them navigate their lives.

If we continually entertain worrisome thoughts about our children’s lives and choices, we create a field around us that can interfere with their growth. Add to that the energetic connection that tethers our children to us, and you have ingredients for more stress on the both of you. It is essential for us, as powerful beings, to keep our thoughts in check to keep the best energy field around us. It is what will serve our children well as they stumble and fall.

I discovered that as my son grew, it was helpful to step back a bit from the hands-on approach (translation: control!) to a more energetic approach. Sure, it is often hard to judge when to make that shift, since we can get so used to being in charge of all the decision-making. I have found some good indicators of when to make that shift:

• Your otherwise sweet and cooperative child seems to have been replaced by an alien
• Frustration levels build in the home
• You find yourself second-guessing your interactions more than you are at peace with them.

I read somewhere many years ago, that our children are on loan to us, given to us “from above.” Some belief systems suggest that our souls are constantly evolving and return numerous times to continue learning lessons. A soul chooses the parents for its earthly experience. Parents become the trustees of this soul and are given the great task of easing a soul into this world from the more pure one it came from.

The sooner we can embrace that we are only their guardians for a while, the sooner we can accept that they have their own blueprint that they brought with them to have experiences for their own soul’s unique growth. Yes, we are cast in their lives to play our part, and we aim to do it well, but in the grand scheme of their lives, we are not that important. We are not at the helm of the experiences they have as adults. So, when challenges befall them in their young adult lives and while we remain compassionate, loving and supportive, it is helpful to take the emotional stance that these are experiences they must need for their growth. While it may seem hard to surrender the control we had in shaping their young lives, the good news is that there is something we can replace it with. Let me share:

As I watched my son navigate some events that seemed to be detours from the life path I thought he should have (I see so clearly now that there are no “shoulds” and that I was not in charge of these “detours”, not to mention the outcomes were glorious!), I learned to shift my thinking.

I learned that whatever life lessons your children go through, a most loving thing you can do for both of you is to become aware of the precious energy you currently spend on worrisome thoughts; use it instead to shift your conscious thoughts toward what is working well in their lives. Keep your thoughts focused on the good in their world, and the good that is in them (that you, as their parent, know on a level that no other can!) Call to mind the times you have seen them successful, loving and in the flow with life. Keep the memory of those feelings coursing through your veins. Call to mind the times you have seen your child strong, capable and courageous and keep those images running on your inner “movie screen”.

This will fill your awareness with so many wonderful things that the worry will have no more room. Your energy field will shift greatly, allowing you to attract similar energy, which in turn will support your positive thinking. Then, when your child needs some strength and taps into the lifelong energetic bond that exists between you, imagine what a gift it will be for them to find the nourishing effects of your good thoughts, rather than the contracting and limiting energies that worry creates.

Denise Romas is a local musician, teacher, and is involved in the Healing Arts. www.deniseromas.com