A Male Supermom’s First Father's Day
by Michael Weinberger • Los Angeles, CA

Up until the time my wife, Jakie, died, I had always looked forward to Father's Day. I would spend my special day relaxing, having breakfast in bed and opening up my Father's Day cards and corny gifts. Then I could play a round of golf (if I played golf) or watch the ball games on TV undisturbed, with a beer in my hand.

That all changed the moment Jakie moved on to her new home. No breakfast, no cards because their mother wasn't around to remind the boys and no peace and quiet. Now my Father's Day was being spent trying to be a "single mom" to three upset, demanding and annoying kids. I was making three different breakfasts, Bobby had a fever, Eli was moping, and Joey was angry and acting out. And I was about to go crazy myself because I had no mother genes and couldn't handle all the noise and stress. Suddenly the voice of Jakie in Spirit showed up and told me, "Buck up. Get over it!" I told her, "No." Hey, in that moment I wasn't feeling it. Besides, this wasn't the first time Jakie communicated with me after her death.

She first showed up in Spirit a few days after she died, when I was on a sad, lonely walk. I didn't believe it. My initial reaction was that my mind was playing tricks on me. Sure, the possibility comforted me and made me happy, but I was really skeptical. A part of me said it was wishful thinking, but this was more than that. There was a sense of a person. You know how when you've known someone intimately and you've walked beside her for a long time, you have a sense of who she is, her presence, her touch, her energy. You can kind of feel her in the room with your eyes closed. Well, that day there was a kind of a smell--her smell--and the sense of her little grin. Plus the information I got seemed so right on. It wasn't "Go put your Nikes on and wait for the Hale-Bopp comet." It was practical and wise. Jake was present.

Remember, I had these three demanding kids and I was making three different breakfasts: pancakes, over easy eggs that became scrambled, and French toast so soggy that they demanded Cheerios instead. At the same time they were all depressed and acting out because their mother was gone. Or was she? Suddenly, Jakie's loving energy pervaded me, and I was comforted and complete. I almost felt like I was floating as Jakie told me she was filling me with Light.

I went from being freaked out to being blissed out. Jakie very matter-of-factly brought me back to earth and started giving me advice on how to handle the kids. "Touch Bobby in the small of the back. Listen to Eli really intently and repeat back what he's saying to reassure him. And Joey, don't touch him until he gets all the screaming, shouting, yelling and kicking out. Then grab him and hold on no matter how many elbows he throws. Later, get them involved in making their own treat for lunch, whatever they want. They'll be entertained and it will symbolize we're all in this together."

Amazingly, Jakie's otherworldly Father's Day message worked. Everyone relaxed. I got to watch a ball game and kick back with a brew. And in the spirit of togetherness, following Jakie's advice, we even came up with the future Father's Day ritual of making ice cream tacos for lunch, which are still terrible. It doesn't matter, because years later, all the boys, myself included, still come together and laugh about that terrible day and toast their mom with the God-awful dripping tacos. Cheers.

Adapted from A Message From Jakie published by Sentient Publications, LLC, 2006, www.sentientpublications.com.

Michael Weinberger has written and produced for Growing Pains, Facts of Life, Who's the Boss, Three's Company, Alice, Laverne and Shirley, Happy Days, and many more. The father of four sons, he has mastered the art of being a single mom, with one exception: the ability to plan more than one meal at a time!