You Cannot Die Alone
by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Excerpted with permission from Death is of Vital Importance, Station Hill Publisher, 1995, 163 pgs. Available at: www.elisabethkublerross.com

There are three reasons why no one can die alone. Besides an absence of pain and the experience of physical wholeness in a simulated, perfect body, which we may call the ethereal body, people will also be aware that it is impossible to die alone. This also includes someone who dies of thirst in a desert hundreds of miles from the next human being, or an astronaut missing the target and circling around in the universe until he dies of lack of oxygen.

Patients slowly prepare themselves for death, as is often the case with children who have cancer. Prior to death, they begin to be aware that they have the ability to leave their physical bodies– they have what we call an out-of-body experience. All of us have these out–of-body experiences during certain states of sleep, although very few of us are consciously aware of it.

Dying children, who are much more tuned in, become much more spiritual than healthy children of the same age. They become aware of these short trips out of their bodies, which help them in transitioning and to become familiar with where they are in the process of going.

During those out-of-body trips, dying patients become aware of the presence of beings surrounding them who guide and help them. This is the first reason you cannot die alone. Young children often refer to them as "their playmates." The churches have called them guardian angels. Most researchers would call them "guides." It is not important what label we give them. It is important that we know that from the moment of birth, beginning with the taking of the first breath, until the moment when we make the transition and end this physical existence, we are in the presence of these guides or guardian angels. They will wait for us and help us in the transition from life to life after death.

The second reason why we cannot die alone is that we will always be met by those who preceded us in death and whom we have loved. This could be a child we lost, perhaps decades earlier, or a grandmother, a father, a mother or another person who has been significant in our lives.

The third reason why we cannot die alone is that when we shed our physical bodies, even temporarily prior to death, we are in an existence where there is no time and no space. In this existence, we can be anywhere we choose to be at the speed of our thought. A young man who dies in Viet Nam and thinks of his mother in Chicago will be in Chicago with the speed of his thought. If you die in the Rocky Mountains in an avalanche and your family lives in Virginia Beach, you will be in Virginia Beach at the speed of your thought.

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, psychiatrist and prolific author of the ground- breaking book, On Death and Dying, coined the now famous "5 Stages of Grief." Always outspoken, her work challenging the medical profession to change its view of dying patients brought about great change and advanced many important concepts such as living wills, home health care, and helping patients to die with dignity and respect, which is now hospice. Her website is: www.elisabethkublerross.com