When we don’t get what we want, it can be easy to feel discouraged, frustrated, and defeated. We may question our abilities or feel like we aren’t deserving of success. It’s important to remember that setbacks and failures are not a reflection of our worth or potential, but they provide valuable opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
One fundamental outcome of experience is its ability to teach us resilience. In moments of disappointment, we are often faced with challenges and obstacles that test our perseverance. It is during these times that we learn to adapt, to pick ourselves up, and to keep moving forward. Life is full of surprises, both good and bad. We all have wants and desires, things we wish for and hope to achieve. Yet sometimes, despite our best efforts, things don’t go the way we planned. We face disappointment, rejection, and failure. It’s in these moments that we often wonder, what do we get when we don’t get what we want?
Perspective
Firstly, when you don’t get what you want, you gain perspective. It’s easy to get caught up in our desires and lose sight of the bigger picture. When things don’t go our way, we are forced to take a step back and reevaluate our priorities. We learn to appreciate what we have, rather than focusing on what we lack. This perspective shift can lead to a greater sense of gratitude and contentment in life.
Resilience
Secondly, when you don’t get what you want, you develop resilience. Facing setbacks and failures can be disheartening, but they also provide an opportunity to build strength and resilience. Every time you encounter a disappointment, you have a choice: you can let it defeat you or you can use it as a stepping-stone to grow stronger. One of the greatest lessons I learned as a placekicker was to have a very short memory. If I missed a field goal, I would put that one time miss behind me and look forward to the next opportunity to kick a field goal. Resilience is a valuable trait that will serve you well in all areas of life, as it has served me as an athlete, father, husband, and businessman.
Learning
Thirdly, when you don’t get what you want, you learn valuable lessons. Failure is often seen as a negative outcome, but it is also a powerful teacher. By examining the reasons why things didn’t work out as planned, you can gain insights that will help you in future endeavors. Mistakes and missteps are not signs of weakness, but opportunities for growth and improvement.
Opportunity
Finally, when you don’t get what you want, you may discover new opportunities. Sometimes, a closed door can lead to an unexpected window of opportunity. When one path is blocked, another may open up that you never would have considered otherwise. Embracing uncertainty and being open to new possibilities can lead you down exciting and fulfilling paths you never imagined.
Make Lemonade
While it can be disappointing and frustrating to not get what you want, there are many valuable things to be gained from these experiences. Perspective, resilience, lessons, and opportunities are just a few of the gifts that come from facing setbacks and failures. So, remember, when life doesn’t give you what you want, it may be giving you something even better in return. As the saying goes, when you are given lemons, make lemonade!
Stu Crum’s college football heroics put him on the national radar as a model student-athlete. Tagged as a winner with a natural gift for leadership, he made his name internationally in key positions with Texaco, Shell Oil, Jiffy Lube, and Bridgestone, wrangling deals with the likes of activist investor Carl Icahn and other heavy hitters. Developing a simple, dynamic game plan that he calls intentional living, Crum lays out his playbook for success in faith, family, and business in his new book, AIM FOR THE UPRIGHTS The Intentional Playbook for Success in Faith, Family, and Business www.stucrum.com.
