The theatre of Autumn is upon us, ushering in new colors, a slower pace and the silent drift of leaves’ gentle descent back to our Mother, Earth. A cozy respite from the blooming activity of summer, September sets its fine stage. We spectate and reflect on natural cycles – both those of nature, and of ourselves. Nature’s yearly performance invites us to reflect in reverence; honoring the higher order of life’s unpredictability with profound awareness.
A reminder that no suffering is eternal, these cycles guide us with faith, that all which is lost will return again, renewed. No creature is born free of their unique role in this cosmic symphony. Each of us are born to pave a unique path. Walking along, we aim to liberate ourselves from the uncertainty of this chaotic order.
In certain seasons of life, we lose sight of our path. Compass shattered, we’re off trail, disoriented from our purpose. Pain’s primal scream wakes us in our darkest nights – the winters of our souls. Yet, by grace, even on the coldest day, the light of our universe never ceases to shine on its creations. A gift of duality, it warms us and invites all life to grow. In contrast, it casts dark shadows on our path. Only by braving these shady, dim crevasses of existence can we shine as our brightest selves.
These shadows represent the lesser-loved aspects of ourselves. Creating cycles of disruption and dysfunction in our lives, these shadows repel us away in fear, while also beckoning us near. They deliver an invitation to dig deper into ourselves, an opportunity to excavate our deepest suffering.
They tempt us to live smaller lives than the ones in our dreams, desperate to keep us safe amongst familiar territory. Therein lies the hidden gift. Our shadows show us where our fear resides, teaching us where to send more love. Our path shifts towards our highest self, if only we have the courage to answer its call.
Growing older, our comfort zone gets larger, while our dreams and audacity to hope for them grows smaller. Internalizing hardships along our journey can break us, if we allow them. We can either allow ourselves to be broken down, or to choose to be broken open.
For 40 years life broke me down. I was buried alive. Countless traumas brought me to rock-bottom, where I finally met the darkness of my shadow. I was forced to sit alongside, instead of running from, the brutal self-hatred that had characterized my existence since childhood. Exhausted from the marathon, I allowed light through the cracks where I had broken. Only then did the floodgates of my life open up. I bathed in a rebirth, and the deluge of childlike joy and enlightenment rained down on my life.
The shift from self-hate to self-love was palpable. It happened the instant I admitted the truth: I hated myself. I had nothing else to lose, and needed to grow. I humbled myself at the feet of my shadow, ending its path of devastation and sabotage in my life. I confronted my self-loathing, and received the greatest gift in return – my true self.
Life’s experiences grow within us a capacity to expand or contract; To become a vessel for more joy or more pain. This choice represents the fundamental terror of the human existence. By staying open, and prying oneself open again as needed, we claim the love and blessings of the universe. This is our true, shared birthright.
Life had completely broken me… not down, but open. It’s an act of bravery to let that light of love shine through you. This leap of faith will pay your soul dividends. As children of Mother Earth, the sun shines for us all. Only our inner narratives, informed by past circumstance, can convince us otherwise.
I started a new diet, a mental one. I spoke to myself as I would a young child. I shamelessly abandoned things that made me feel bad, and mercilessly pursued the things that made me feel good. Some days were easier than others. Day by day, I crawled out of the pit that life had thrown me into. My shadow cast the illusion that it was too deep to escape, but the light I let through the crack proved otherwise. The sun came in, the fog lifted, and now the future is brighter than ever.
I share my story to give hope to everyone going through a change of season in their life. To those facing uncertainty and fear. This is the human condition and of this no one is spared. On life’s journey, we are free to choose our own adventures, for better or for worse. Each moment is an opportunity to reset our course. Choosing to heal our shadows, we create ourselves anew, sharing our joy with others.
We are each a beacon. Joined together, we illuminate brightly, blinding humanity to its fears. Connected no longer by pain, but by inspired visions. As we heal together, so rises the consciousness on planet Earth. A Golden Age of humanity comes forth as individuals face their fear, extinguished in the light of love; Love first shared with ourselves, then spread to others, for the sake of the entire world.
It’s the wisdom of our ages, not the sum of years within them, that allow us to make the most of our lives. The years make of us, so that we may make of them.
Take heart: Life is good and it’s only getting better.
Taylor Mari is a Self-Love Coach, EFT practitioner and Reiki healer, Youtuber & mother. Her journey overcoming C-PTSD after narcissistic abuse introduced her to many healing modalities around the globe. She shares her healing with the world, to help others find their way back to themselves. Join her Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) healing livestreams free of charge by following Taylor Television on Youtube, and tuning into the livestream at 7PM on Thursdays.
